JANIS~ Corona Visit–October 6, 2020

As soon as I got out of work today, (I’m back at Bowdoin College part-time) Tues. 10/6/20, I got in the car and drove the 45 mins to Lewiston to keep my Corona visit (15 minutes) with Janis. I posted a photo of this visit courtesy of Marilyn the administrative assistant who has been so gracious over the years with Janis. She has become a familiar name with our family among others there who have become special friends.

This visit was our first visit inside the facility in preparation for winter. Dyouville Pavilion, in keeping with their serious and compassionate care for their residents and staff, built a temporary meeting room into their lobby. Warm and comfortable. Janis seemed more alert and in touch with this visit. Of course, she wasn’t always able to interact given her numerous handicaps, but I enjoyed the few times she was joined to me in the visit with smiles I could see beyond the mask. A couple times she smiled so broadly I could see her eyes shine; then she would withdraw a little. I interpret this as attention span issues, and maybe the emotional intensity of these limited visits.

I was able to get a little closer to her than the outdoor arrangements allowed. I got right up to the glass and took out my phone to show her some photos of our grandchildren which she showed interest in, at least for a while, later I showed her a photo of one of her own art creations that I had on my phone. When she finally glanced at it, she burst into a big smile and nodded. I clung to this moment, but it drifted. I did my usual mime act of displaying my love for her. She saw this and nodded then looked away and gently, slowly shook her head as if she didn’t want to react to this. I noticed that she was a little emotional and tired. We spent the last few minutes looking at each other–well, mostly me looking at her. She made some genuine efforts, I thought, to my presence and later, as I waved some kisses and prepared to leave, smiled again with another bold, eye-to-eye connection. For those who read this who don’t know: Janis is deaf and has lost a great deal of cognition and language. So, this visit was quite a positive experience for us both. Given that it is only 15 minutes and there is no conversation, I was overwhelmed as I left her today.

I will be able to visit again on the 27th of this month, and Thanksgiving Day, and Christmas Eve. I look forward to these limited visits. They keep me hopeful and feeling close to her. It was my hope as I drove home, that when this Coronavirus allows, we will be together again and she will remember me. These visits and the Zoom visits are enough, I hope, to keep my face in her memory.

So now, I’m going to attempt to attach the photo that I put on Facebook into this blog entry. We’ll see. Thanks for joining me in this blog. It’s my objective to keep Janis in our world and thoughts…