Right now, Monday, there’s either nothing much on my mind or there’s too much, and I can’t sort through it. I’m not sure which it is. I don’t think it matters it ends up the same; a little stuck. I just read through a novel I had started several months ago. Just a short while before Janis was placed. It was a developed idea that I had carried around in my head for years, I just couldn’t get it started. Well, apparently I did, and forgot about it. I just plugged in my flash-drive, and found it along with a poem I had written for Janis. The novel is the story of a young girl, her step-brother, and two of their childhood friends. It was intended to shift into three parts and tell the long story of what happens to them in this small coastal town of Maine, when a young boy appears for a summer. This boy falls in love with the protagonist, Esme, (she carries the title of the book). They grow up with this boy Ben, appearing every summer to stay with his wealthy grandmother, who owns a large house on a hill overlooking the town. Her family owns most businesses, and large plots of real estate in the small fishing village of Harbor Neck, Maine. I looked closely at what I had written (nearly 12,000 words and 20 pgs.), and I like it. Now what? I have a broad outline in my head that breaks the book into three parts to see what becomes of these five kids as they become adults, in book three. A funny thing, as soon as I read parts of the manuscript the entire project reappeared in my head. Not fully developed but in good shape for writing.
When we used to take our day trip to Camden, we talked about this story and it took root in my head somewhere and I must say, I found that brief moment’s visit from her to be a little tug to get me to select that particular flash-drive (I have several), and open to that well developed beginning to the story. This is the character development part that often is the impetus, for me at least, (I don’t do much outlining, I like to watch the characters develop my story for me), to move the book to another level. So I guess I’m going to get up earlier each morning, and get my morning ablutions over with, take a walk, eat breakfast and sit my ass down to business. 1st –Entangled, 2nd -New Edition of A Certain Fall, 3rd -(and here is the sticking point) I have another project for a large story based loosely on some experiences in my military adventures (?) while working in MI in Frankfurt, Germany during the mid-late 60’s. Title: The Need to Know. But, Esme is a beguiling novel, with characters that are interesting, it makes me want to see them grow, and inhabit this book, this place in time. The kind of novel I love getting myself immersed inside of. And, it was a project that Janis really liked and maybe, just perhaps, visited me to remind me. What the hell…it sure feels like that.
I guess this is a good thing for me to have writing available to me. I am still learning the craft (it really is a craft, putting it all together), and enjoy it so much that I feel guilty. Ooops. I’m not supposed to reveal that. But, it’s the truth. Writing and crafting a novel is exciting and challenging. But when I let myself think of Janis and her situation, I start to feel just a little pull to be with her. Of course, during this time, I’m not allowed. So in a bizarre twist, I find myself with the time to write, and I want it to be for Janis. It makes me feel closer to her. She was my best cheerleader. My muse. So, Esme? or the other?
This morning, Tuesday, I had facetime with Janis. The Activities Director at her Unit offered this as an alternative to our shutdown on visits. It was comforting to see her react to me. Smiles, and really glued to the screen observing me talking to her. Of course, she can’t speak so it’s all one way. The whole thing took only 10 minutes or so. But, we’re going to do this twice a week or more. This was another very thoughtful and compassionate provision this Unit has shown us throughout her stay. The Director of Activities, Shelly, took this on herself so that her staff could continue their work with the residents. She told me that I could call her anytime, and if she was able she would do more facetime with Janis. Janis looked good. It was emotional and exciting, but left me wanting to be with her. Hopefully, this Corona will move on, and we can be together again.
(Oh, and that poem for Janis, c. 2010? Not too bad. Needs a little work, but pretty good. She inspires me still, today.)
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